October 27, 2000 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE
15
bigtips
How can I make a real bed, with no budget at all?
Dear Big Tipper,
Do you ever wonder what is the reason behind people's style choices? I had a huge shock last night. I was at a party, having a good time, and in walked my ex-girlfriend. I haven't seen her since the day we broke up a year ago.
There were only about fifteen people in the room. Who did she even know that got her invited to the party? My friend saw her first and warned me, so I was cool
to her face when she noticed me.
So here's the real story. When we were together, she had very, very short hair, like military. It always looked good on her, and she was pretty vain about it. She knew it made her look really hot. Last night, her hair is this total greasedback Fonzarelli with little curls on the bottom. She looked like a fool.
What's up with that?
have a full or queen-size futon right now, because if you have a twin, things are worse than I thought.
Take up all of your friends' offers on the futons, as long as they're full or queen (the sizes are close enough that you can stack them without floppy overhang from a larger layer).
The next step is to go to whatever neighborhood is most likely to have lots of moving
0
BIG TIPS
She didn't seem to be with anybody, and I wasn't surprised. Why would somebody make themselves look so bad?
That Do is a Don't
Dear Groan Out, Sweets, it seems that just like her hair's grown out, you've grown out of her.
Dear Mary,
I need advice about a situation that concerns fashion, my health, and my love life. Can you believe I'm asking all three with one question?
The problem is my bed. I have a futon on the floor, and it has gotten so hard it's really awful to sleep on. Of course I'd love to buy a real bed with a box spring and a mattress and a nice headboard, but that costs too much for me right now.
A few of my friends have offered me slightly softer futons that they were getting rid of, but I know they'll just get rock hard like this one. Besides, I'm really tired of sleeping so low to the floor. I want a bed to sit on to tie my shoes, you know? I also want to have a more impressive, "grownup" looking bedroom setup. I don't want my dates to be bugged when they see it.
Basically, I need a sexier, more comfortable bed, and I have no money. Be my budget Martha Stewart, please! Sleepin' on a Cracker
Dear Need a Bed to Eat Crackers In,
Ooh-I love this question, because I love a good, firm, but smooth and sexy bed, and I have the perfect stop-gap answer. My friend, it's all about components. You're going to build yourself a fabulous Princess and the Pea bed that the boys will love, if they even notice at all that it's not a regular bed. First of all, I'm going to assume that you
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sales or people who need quick cash. That's usually the university district. Look for fliers from folks who are selling or giving away mattresses and box springs.
You can frequently pick them up for cheapcheap-cheap. You don't even need a box-springand-mattress set. If you just get a box spring, you're scoring some height, and if you just get a mattress, you're achieving more softness than the futons can provide. Now if you make a
nice stack, with a few futons and perhaps a mattress, you've got height, and your bedroom instantly looks a little closer to that one in Christina Aguilera's video.
But it's not really sexy, yet is it? Now, go to the thrift store, and get two or three fitted king-sized sheets in colors that make you look good (and pick up some cute pillow cases while you're there). They will be permanent covers for your layers: it'll probably take one king to cover each two layers, so shop accordingly. Then put your bottom two layers down, and cover them with a sheet. Tuck it in nice and neat on the bottom. Then put your next two layers on, then cover them with the next sheet, and tuck that in neatly between those two and the bottom two you covered before.
More layers? Lather, rinse, repeat. Fetching!
Now, if you have any money to spend, here's where I recommend you do it. I like making my bed with just a fitted sheet on the bottom, and a down comforter on top (a light quilt in the summer). It's easy to make, you don't get tangled in sheets, and it's oh so European: ooh la la!
If you can, get yourself a comforter and a nice cover (I get one that hides the dogs' fur) and, if possible, a feather bed. They're surprisingly cheap (try the Company Store), and they make a nice poofy layer on top of your top mattress or futon. When you make your bed, lay the feather bed on the top mattress, then pull the fitted sheet over it and the mattress. Then toss your comforter over that, and you have one sassy bed.
The finishing touch? If you can't afford schmancy pillows, just make sure you have at least one per guest. It's just polite. Enjoy!
Burning questions? Contact me at the Chronicle, attention Big Tips, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, or e-mail to martone@drizzle.com.
DAVID A. BUDNY, D.C.
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